Piecing together the tales of those few that have escaped the dungeon depths, we have assembled this bestiary to help forewarn you of the dangers you face. Be warned it is incomplete: we've heard tale of many fearsome foes not on this paltry list!

Adventurers may start off soft and tasty, but dungeon denizens are warned that they can quickly become obscenely powerful. Single adventurers have been known to slaughter every living creature in a dungeon for no more reason than "because they were there".

Exhibiting rare trilateral symmetry, some speculate that the green skinned tridudes are not native to our plane. This doesn't stop the tridudes from killing unwary adventurers, however, so save the philosophy until you have escaped the dungeon.

Small mice scurry anywhere that food scraps may be found. To the novice, their movement may seem chaotic and random. The skilled mouser learns to anticipate their every move.

As a Hero on a Great Quest, you surely don't care about becoming a better mouser.

Rats live where humans live. That doesn't stop humans from hating them. While excuses like "spreaders of filth and disease" is usually provided, the cynical point out that if rats had nice bushy tails rather than ugly naked tails, the cohabitation may have been more peaceful.

Giant rat
This is a BIG rat. It likely weighs as much as you do!

Giant rats generally hate humans. While excuses like "spreaders of filth and disease" is usually provided, the cynical point out that if humans had nice fur covering their bodies rather than being almost entirely naked, the cohabitation may have been more peaceful.

Grid bug

The grid bug dismissed by most as just another type of vermin. However, scholars often have wondered at the origins of these purple xs. Why is it that they crackly with electric power? Are they some form of electric elemental? What grants them the ability to move in directions unavailable to anyone else? Do they come from some higher dimension where more degrees of freedom are present? Barbarians report that the corpses are spicy if eaten fresh.

Brown slug
The lowest of the giant slugs is the brown slug. It uses a mild acid to defeat its foes and then scrapes up the partially digested remains with its radula.

Floating eye
A floating eye is aptly named. It is a 50 centimeter diameter floating eyeball. Thankfully, it has lids that cover the back half, so it is not too disgusting to see.

Some theorize the first floating eye was a Distance Seeing spell that went awry. This does not explain why those that try to hit the eye in melee often find themselves paralysed by its gaze.

The scorpion is renowned for its powerful sting. Crushing the scorpion does no good if you die shortly after from the poison of its bite.

Cave spider
The small inoffensive cave spider is often targeted by adventurers for the nutritious and tasty meat it provides. Care is advised that a hungry adventurer not mistaken it for its giant kin.

The kiwi, native to New Zealand, is peculiar in that it is not just a flightless bird, but a wingless bird as well. Its nocturnal habit allows it to live peacefully in the depths, feasting on insects snuffled out with its long beak. Antagonizing the kiwi is strongly discouraged for that same snout can inflict a devastating piercing attack.

Explorers of dungeon depths should be thankful for bats for their part in minimizing the buzzing insects that would otherwise mar the spelunking adventure. Naysayers point out that bats do most of their hunting outside of the cave and leave more than enough guano within the cave to mitigate any beneficial effect they might have.

It is said that only by carefully sifting through and washing bat guano can one acquire enough mosquito eyes to make the famed mosquito eye soup. This tidbit of knowledge leaves unanswered the question of why one would desire such a soup in the first place.

Large bat
Unsurprising, where there are bats, there will be bigger bats. Those who have grown accustomed to feasting on bats are warned that while there is more meat on these bones, there is also more fight.

What is dead should stay dead! Why then do these bones move? No ligaments connect the joints. No muscles power the motion. Yet these facts do not prevent the skeleton from clanking inexorably forward.

The dead bloated corpse twitches. An effect of rigor mortis setting in? No. It is the vile necromantic art animating the corpse, transforming the decaying meat into a shambling undead monstrosity.

Kobolds are a small purple-furred race of bipedal dogs. Their pack-like tendencies and cunning nature compensates for their weak stature.

Kobold mage
In Wpark the Wonderful's youth he believed that the kobold species held great promise. It was only their lack of higher knowledge that prevented them from being accepted as equals among civilized nations. He set out on a pilgrimage to teach the kobolds the wisdom of the world.

While Wpark has refused to ever speak of his experiences, it was only after then that blue-robed kobold mages began to terrorize the underworld. Their use of modern magic spells and wearing of the signature blue wizard robe suggest Wpark may have been at least partly successful.

Kobold fighter
While any kobold is willing to pick up a sword to take what they desire, kobold fighters are more likely to be already be properly equipped and trained in such weapons. Many adventurers that had come to scorn kobolds received a harsh lesson in manners from an affronted kobold fighter.

Kobold assassin
"There are many scurrilous lies spread about the noble kobold race. The most ridiculous is surely that of the so-called Kobold Assassin. Every so often, I hear reports of one of these kobold subtypes. The report usually describes them as black clad members of a secret kobold organization that will stop at nothing to defend kobold kind and keep themselves secret.

"Every time I try and track down the originators of these reports, the primary witness is always conveniently away on some long term business trip, or has gotten himself killed in some tragic accident. The lack of any first hand accounts proves that the Kobold Assassin is nothing more than hearsay spread to discredit kobold kind."

From an early journal of Wpark the Wonderful.

Copyright © 2003-2009 Jeff Lait
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